australian television information archive

Everybody Loves Australians

Episode 1
Thu, September 28, 2023 (Stan)
Written by Kick Gurry
Directed by Kick Gurry

Four Australian soldiers are kidnapped behind enemy lines. Placing little value in freedom, they instead choose to fight for social media fame and notoriety. Striking a deal with their captors to make the world's most elaborate hostage videos, the boys set sail on a mad-capped journey into the true heart of darkness — fame.

Rowdy Gaines, languishing in a military holding cell in Sydney, is approached by the Minister of Defence, Colonel Bishop, with a way to get a discharge to see his unwell daughter. A 'highly sensitive, black-ops covert operation' to Behati-Prinsloo, with a crack team Rowdy has worked with before: comms expert Phil Choi, deep cover specialist Dylan Fox, and muscle and charm provider Albhanis Mouawad.

Desperate to help his daughter, Rowdy is in, before hearing what the mission is. Which is probably all for the best as the mission is to erase a dick pic of the Colonel from the mobile phone of Princess Depinder of Behati-Prinsloo. Pic erased, as they wait for their chopper out of a rebel controlled rainforest, left for dead by the Australian government they're quickly captured by freedom fighters. Shammi wants to kill them, but Mamolo knows that everybody loves Australians.

And so begins their plan. Rowdy pitches the idea to collaborate on a hostage video and achieve something that will give them real, meaningful change in their lives — fame. A staged video of the soldiers, bruised and beaten, pleading for their lives, is released. The tape keeps being taken down, but in Australia, shamed journalist Josie Justice is approached by her sister Jemima, Colonel Bishop's military attaché and note taker, with a copy of the video — and a story that could turn her world around.

When two American soldiers are captured, they dig an escape tunnel out of the POW camp and threaten to tell the world the truth about the sham setup. And so, as they crawl towards the tunnel under cover of darkness about to be rescued for real, Rowdy tries to convince the boys to stay — to make more tapes, claim that they saved the Americans, to get some respect. Rowdy doesn't want to be a loser anymore.

But a truck full of rebels suddenly arrive, and with them their leader, Fearsome Director Bustard. The escape is foiled. Now the boys are really in trouble. Bustard has tried to tell the world about the plight of his country, but no one will listen. Rowdy convinces him that with all the focus on the plight of the boys, people will finally listen. Director Bustard agrees, but as the phone camera rolls, Bustard shoots one of the American soldiers.

Unfortunately, it was on selfie mode. They'll have to take it again…

Meanwhile, Hollywood actor and philanthropist Sean Penn, faces humiliation on Australian breakfast television, while trying to bring attention to the conflict in Behati Prinsloo.

Cast:

• Ben O’Toole as Rowdy Gaines
• Kick Gurry as Dylan Fox
• Lincoln Younes as Albhanis Mouawad
• Alexander England as Phil Choi
• Mel Jarnson as Shammi Amaral
• Dorian Nkono as Mamalo Amaral
• Fayssal Bazzi as Director Bustard
• Rebecca Breeds as Josie Justice
• Bella Heathcote as Jemima Justice
• Erik Thomson as Colonel Bishop
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• Karl Stefanovic as Karl Stefanovic
• Allison Langdon as Allison Langdon
• Brooke Boney as Brooke Boney
• Silvia Colloca as Princess Depinder
• Emily Adler as Indi Gaines
• Nisrine Amine as Reporter
• Amanda Maple-Brown as Newsreader
• Bronte Bailey as Newsreader
• Lewis Grace as Palace Guard
• Danny Kim as Korean Talk Show Host
• Phil Partridge as Stunt Coordinator
• Chris Stanley as Lt Pete Stunt Double
• Hamish MacDonald as Stand-In
•  
• Jeremy Lindsay Taylor as Private John Utah
• Jessica De Gouw as Mara Buxbaum
•  
• Tuppence Middleton as Penny Pimberhurst
• Bryan Brown as Warren Whistle
• Matthew Fox as Lieutenant Pete
• Susan Sarandon as Alaska Adams
• Sean Penn as Sean Penn