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The Jaquie Brown Diaries: episode guide

Brownie Points

Episode 1.01
NZ: Friday, July 25, 2008
Aus: Monday, December 28, 2009 (SBS)
Written by Gerard Johnstone, Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie Brown is in her element as the light relief on the prime time current affairs show "McHuntly at Seven". But when the show hires a pretty Fijian-Indian girl to do the same thing, she discovers she's been scoring low with ethnic minorities and attempts to do something about it.

With: Michael Saccente as Gynecologist, Hayley Cunningham as Cafe Customer #1, Kyle Watson as Cafe Customer #2, Andy Conlan as The Cleaner, David Van Horn as Aaron, Karlya Smith as Bizzy's Minder, Dwight Wilson III as Bizzy Trickle, Mike Loder as Daren, Kimberly Hill as Dancer; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting

Brown In The Dumps

Episode 1.02
NZ: Friday, August 01, 2008
Aus: Monday, January 04, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone, Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

When her best friend moves to the UK, Jaquie finds herself moving into a house she can't really afford. Unable to find a suitable flatmate, she decides to exploit her celebrity status through cheap product endorsements and a part time job on breakfast radio.

With: Alison Strickett as Michelle, Steve Best as Airport Security, Vanessa Ridell as Real Estate Agent, Gerald Johnstone as Family Man, Bronwyn Bezuidenhout as Family Woman, Morgana O'Reilly as Alt Girl, Brant Fraser as Greg, Kalvin & Lola Fountain Best as Kids, Sophie Henderson as Bobbi, David Van Horn as Aaron, Natasha Brinsden as Radio Voice, Brenhan Lovegrove as Brendo, Geoff Houtman as Booksy, Scott Kelly as Scott, Bob Kerrigan as Bob, Mark Sainsbury as Himself, Paul Casserly as Voice of Reporter, Jamie Cameron as Miswak Voice Over; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting

Brown Sweat

Episode 1.03
NZ: Friday, August 08, 2008
Aus: Monday, January 11, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone, Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie finally gets her wish to appear in a women's magazine, only it's in the overweight celebrity section. When Kim manages to get Jaquie a major ad campaign of celebrities supporting NZ Olympians, Jaquie despairs she's going to look dumpy alongside the athletes and sets herself the task of losing 10kgs in 10 days.

With: Glen-Paul Waru as Shane, Charlie McDermott as Adrian, Shavaughan Ruakere as Herself, Rodney Hide as Himself, Maria Robertson as TV3 Cafe Lady, David Van Horn as Aaron, Misikei Ifopo as Fale, Josh Hetherington as Nick, Murray Hood as Josh, Phil Bostwick as C4 Presenter, Helena McAlpine as C4 Presenter, Brendhan Lovegrove as Brendo, Geoff Houtman as Brooksy; Kiwi Olympic Supports Inc: Shane Cortese, Joe Cotton, Mike Puru, Petra Bagust, Carly Binding, Will Martin, Antonia Prebble, Dave Gibson; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting

Brown Love

Episode 1.04
NZ: Friday, August 15, 2008
Aus: Monday, January 18, 2009
Written by Jodie Molloy, Gerard Johnstone
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

When Jaquie breaks up with her boyfriend, Kim Sharee decides to find her a new man, preferably one that will get her in the women's magazines. Jaquie also discovers she's been wrongly associated with a disturbing urban myth which is severely hindering her progress in the love department.

With: Fraser Brown as Mike, Andrea Kellard as Jaquie's Mum, Antony Starr as himself, Matt Costa as himself, Anika Moa as herself, Jon Bridges as Himself; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting

The Brown Identity

Episode 1.05
NZ: Friday, August 22, 2008
Aus: Monday, January 25, 2009
Written by Jodie Molloy, Gerard Johnstone
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie is continually mistaken for Jackie Clarke, but when she loses her invitation to the fashion event of the year, their mutual disdain for each other reaches boiling point. Tom has his first solo show.

With: Paul Barett as Barista, Solomon Gebbie as BMX Bandit, Leo Casey Waby as Marty, Marion Shortt as Dayna, Nigel McCulloch as Disgruntled Moviegoer, Dominic Corry as Audibly Disgruntled Moviegoer, Gerald Johnstone as Santa Claus, Jackie Clarke as Herself, Janina Percival as Door Girl, Lee Baker as Audience Guy, Scott Blanks as Comedy Club Owner, Rob Niwa as Fashion Patrygoer; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting, Robert Dowd

Brown Live

Episode 1.06
NZ: Friday, August 29, 2008
Aus: Monday, February 01, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone, Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

When Ian and Elena choose Serita as Ian's replacement host while they cover a story in Iraq, Jaquie decides it's the last straw and makes her play for the big chair, but at what cost?

With: Hweiting Ow as Production Assistant, Carol Hirschfeld as Make Up Artist, Bill Ralston as Himself, Andy Conlan as The Cleaner, Ant Timpson as Security Guard, Phil Brough as Studio Director, Dylan Reeve as Vision Mixer, Rt Hon Helen Clark as Herself, John Sumner as Kevin Blackwell, Julie Crean as Debbie Thomas, Charley Murphy-Samau as Ricky Thomas, John Sweetman as McHuntley at 7 Promo Voice; Supermarket Fans: Rachel Wisbey, Fraser McGregor, Karl Burnett, Fred Enholmer; David Van Horn as Aaron; McHuntley at 7 Team: Joanna Bosauder, Piers Graham, Ian Hart, Karen Bunting, Robert Dowd

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Episode 2.01
NZ: Fri, October 23, 2009 (11.35pm)
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Since losing her job on McHuntly at 7 for trying to get Serita fired, Jaquie has hit rock bottom. She and Tom have left their Cox's Bay dream home for a crappy apartment above K road and Jaquie has been lending her C-grade celebrity status to a carpet factory to pay the bills. Meanwhile Serita has gone on to become one of TV3's most valued assets, has her own show coming out and a top ten single. Now with her celebrity status disappearing right before her eyes, Jaquie's only chance to climb back up the media ladder is co-hosting a midday radio show with the equally bitter and even more disgruntled James Coleman. But Jaquie's never been know to take things lying down, and with the help of friend and publicist Kim Sharee she's now more determined then ever to get back on television!

With: Wallace Chapman as Derek, Brendo Lovegrove as Brendo, Geoff Houtman as Brooksy, Mick Innes as Carpet Store Manager, Alan Brunton as Store Customer, Levi Kereama as Young Boy, Steve Wrigley as Sandwich Clerk

Night On The Brown

Episode 2.02
NZ: Fri, October 30, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Story by Gerard Johnstone & Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

After interviewing NZ's latest Hollywood export Terence Ben'et, Jaquie thinks she's made a love connection.

With: Rhys Darby as Terence Ben'et, Wallace Chapman as Derek, Brendo Lovegrove as Brendo, Geoff Houtman as Brooksy, Jamie Linehan, Ben Boyce, Norrie Montgomery, Amarbir Singh

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Episode 2.03
NZ: Fri, November 06, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie is outraged when Serita's terrible new sitcom is a critical and commercial success.

With: Antony Starr, et al

Brown's Bush

Episode 2.4
NZ: Fri, November 13, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Story by Gerard Johnstone & Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

To get away from James Coleman, Jaquie accepts an offer as a last minute replacement on a reality show called 'Celebrity Frontiers'.

With: Jennifer Ward-Lealand, Brooke Howard Smith, Claire Chitham, Coxy, Arwen Guttenbiel, Rikki Morris, Joel Tobeck

Brown's Bush, Part II

Episode 2.5
NZ: Fri, November 20, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

The reality show becomes a little too real when the celebrities get stranded in the bush, but the harsh elements and lack of food are not their only concern.

With: Joel Tobeck, Brooke Howard Smith, Claire Chitham, Bruce Hopkins, Jennifer Ward-Lealand, Curtis Vowell, Barnie Duncan, Scott Cotter, Justin 'Gish' Hansen, Ryan Lampp, Hannah Banks, Paul Glover, Jarrod Holt, Nigel McCulloch, Jarod Rawiri, Tainui Tukiwaho, Gareth Tiopara-Waaka, Kate Hawkesby, Vathie Sharpe, Jessie Stanley, Steve Jamieson, Clive Sharpe

Brown Hearted

Episode 2.6
NZ: Fri, November 27, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone & Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie and Kim have a falling out when Jaquie signs with a new agent.

With: Jeff Szusterman as Randall, Elisabeth Easter as Suzie, Robyn Malcolm as Herself, Jarrod Holt as Liam, Jacque Drew as Maureen Grigg, Omar Al-Sobky as Park Antagonist

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Episode 2.7
NZ: Fri, December 04, 2009
Written by Gerard Johnstone
Story by Gerard Johnstone & Jodie Molloy
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

When Tom's YouTube video usurps Jaquie's fame tenfold, Jaquie gets cyber-curious but discovers she has a steadily growing army of on-line detractors.

With: Kate Hawkesby, Oliver Driver, Carly Flynn, Rod Cheeseman, Sonia Gray, Jeff Szusterman, Ryan Hutchings, Colin Mathura-Jeffree, Wallace Chapman, Taika Waititi, Russell Brown, Alex Dyer, Kat Riddell, Jason Hoyte, Jo Brugh, Karl Burnett

Educating Jaquie

Episode 2.8 (finale)
NZ: Fri, December 11, 2009
Written by
Directed by Gerard Johnstone

Jaquie finds herself in celebrity rehab and is reunited with her old boss Ian McHuntly. Meanwhile Kim uncovers some dark secrets about Serita.

With: Jon Brugh, Jason Hoyte, Karl Burnett