love is a four letter word: episode guide

episodes 1-13 | episodes 14-26

Bier

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Episode 14
Australia: Tuesday, May 01, 2001
Written by Matt Ford
Directed by Tony Tilse

Larissa is dead. Hard to believe but it's true. The morning after Albee decided to leave Angus for good… before she even had the chance to leave, she is greeted by a sopping wet Angus O'Neil who struggles to explain the unexplainable. Albee's little sister, and her last remaining relative, is dead.

Larissa drowned, caught in a rip while trying to save Quentin's life. The irony is that Larissa achieved her goal. Quentin will live to die another day. And that day will probably be sooner rather than later, as Quentin's body is riddled with cancer.

Albee struggles to accept Larissa's death. Still in too much in shock to mourn, Albee drifts through her day aimlessly, seeing the world from an acute angle of grief. She will be bemused to discover that the funeral director, employed by Angus to deal with the arrangements, turns out to be none other than Evan Green. The same person who Larissa had encouraged Albee to flirt with.

Albee will be bemused further still to discover that Larissa's ghost, or at the very least some weird apparition/alter ego of Albee's, will begin haunting her every move—commenting on Albee and her actions.

The "ghost" of Larissa will, like the real Larissa, push Albee towards consummating her relationship with Evan. Is Albee going mad—or is this just a manifestation of her grief and guilt? Angus, meanwhile, will do everything he can to support Albee. His task is made harder by the fact that Albee refuses to open up to him. He's shut out of her life. Things are starting to go very pear-shaped indeed.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Jack Finsterer as Evan Green, Paul Tassone as Eddie Bird, Hayley McElhinney as Garnish

Stab

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Episode 15
Australia: Tuesday, May 08, 2001
Written by Matt Ford
Directed by Tony Tilse
Music by Bernie Hayes and The Shouties

It is the day of Larissa's funeral… and Albee is not coping very well and has gone walk about.

Albee needs someone to talk to who isn't connected to her life and finds herself drawn towards funeral director, Evan Green. There is a history of unresolved sexual tension between these two, but then there is also the fact that Evan is the only person to whom Albee's confession that she's seeing Larissa's ghost will feel normal.

Angus is left feeling very much out on his own, not sure how much Albee's state of mind is grief and how much of it is their own mess and Klaus' decision to have the loudest band on the planet for Larissa's wake comes at a time when Angus dosen't really have the energy to resist.

When the noise complaint comes, Angus will be too drunk and grief stricken to find a rational way of dealing with it. At the same time Albee will find herself face to face with a memory Larissa thinks she needs to deal with. It is a truth that will threaten to push Albee over the edge.

Guest Cast: John Molloy as Roy Williams, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Joel McIlroy as Brent Duffy, Paul Tassone as Eddie Bird, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Peter Pitcher as Father Hindley, Jamie Rich as Young school girl, Jenny Templeton as Sister Fowler, Archer Lyttle as Uncle Chris, Garry McDonald as Tom Mattingly

-E-R

Episode 16
Australia: Tuesday, May 15, 2001
Written by Matt Ford
Directed by Tony Tilse
Music by Frontside

Albee plays a game of hangman with Larissa's ghost. It seems Larissa is using the word game to try and force Albee to do something she doesn't want to do. But Albee refuses to play. Instead she seeks refuge in Evan Green's proposal of a road trip down the coast.

Meanwhile, Klaus's poker machine addiction is getting out of control. He tries banning himself from the rival pub where he lost all his money. But his self restraint is short lived. Disguising himself in a wig and sunglasses Klaus re-enters the prohibited pub to lose his future wages on the pokies.

Frustrated in his inability to communicate with Albee or Klaus, Angus sets himself the mammoth task of appeasing Rachel Fox (Joanne Priest) and the residents she claims to represent. The two work together to try and sort out ways to alleviate the pub's noise problem. But things go awry, and Angus manages to alienate himself from Rachel as well.

Paul catches Albee about to run away with Evan. Rather than talk her out of it, Paul gives Albee his tacit nod of approval. It's something he would do. Appalled by the thought that she and Paul share a similarity of character, Albee does what Larissa's ghost has been suggesting she do all along. She confronts Angus with the truth—that she put holes in some of their condoms—specifically the condom which Angus used with Juliette (Teresa Page). It seems Albee, not Angus got Juliette pregnant!

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Jack Finsterer as Evan Green, Steve Bowers as Publican, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Garry McDonald as Tom Mattingly

Safe

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Episode 17
Australia: Tuesday, May 22, 2001
Written by Ellie Beaumont
Directed by Kay Pavlou
Music by Luke Harrigan of Lo-Tel

Angus knows Albee, in a drunken daze, put holes in the condoms. He knows, that by default, she is partially responsible for Juliette falling pregnant to him during a brief but high-impact dalliance. He knows and he wants someone to pay. Albee would be perfect except that she's not around… so Angus takes his grief to a local residents action group meeting about the pub instead.

Albee, under the spirit-guidance of Larissa, is trying to stop Big Bear publishing Quentin's book—particularly the chapters about Albee and Angus and their infamous arrangement.

Larissa is becoming more hardcore in her approach to the world, encouraging Albee to live life truthfully and bugger the consequences. When she meets Quentin to try and enlist his help to stop the book, Larissa will egg Albee on to entertain thoughts she never believed herself capable of.

Albee becomes frightened of Larissa's influence, of her own grip on reality, but having pushed her near and dear away from her, she finds Larissa's comfort too hard to resist. She will allow herself to walk away from the pub, and from Angus, and his attempts to chase her will have life-threatening consequences.

Guest Cast: John Molloy as Roy Williams, Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Carlton Lamb as Andy Spader, Genevieve Mooy as Evelyn Richards, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble

Cold

Episode 18
Australia: Tuesday, May 29, 2001
Written by Ellie Beaumont
Directed by Kay Pavlou

Angus and Albee have split but until she can find somewhere else to live, Albee is staying in the storeroom downstairs. While enduring these living conditions, she's also dealing with Brent Duffy, sports legend and autobiographer, who has decided Albee is his mentor.

Angus learns that Rachel Fox is going to sue him for running her over and breaking her legs. To make amends he takes her flowers, signs her cast and paints her toe nails. In return, Rachel has Angus arrested.

Along the way, Bernie and Juliette try to spark their old flame with a day at the races, Paul and Angus go on a date with each other in their own pub and Albee sends the ghost of Larissa away to Spain.

Guest Cast: Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Zoe Coyle as Melissa Duvet, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Joel McIlroy as Brent Duffy, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble, Dianne Dunnmarler as Sexy girl

Lose

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Episode 19
Australia: Tuesday, June 05, 2001
Written by Michael Miller
Directed by Kay Pavlou
Music by The Dumb Earth

Angus's life is not improving. He's just been arrested for running Rachel Fox over. Nobody believes that it was an accident certainly not Rachel, who's convinced Angus acted out of maliciousness.

Making things harder for Angus is the fact that Albee still hasn't found a place to live or at least that's the excuse she gives Angus for not moving out of the pub. Angus's patience is beginning to wear thin. He finds it difficult having her around. He still wants them to get back together, but Albee's refusal on that front frustrates him.

Albee meanwhile is struggling to remember why she broke up with Angus in the first place. It seems nothing would be easier than falling back into his arms. But the sobering reality of their situation—the whole messy business of Albee putting the holes in the condoms, something which ultimately contributed to Juliette's pregnancy, puts paid to any such thoughts.

Juliette too has her problems. It seems she and Bernie are still stuck in some weird courting ritual, which is very strange given they're married. Bernie, it seems, is still not ready to have Juliette come home. As a distressed Juliette explains to Angus, Bernie has problems in the trousers department. A problem, apparently related to the fact that Juliette is carrying Angus's child. Angus is not sure what to say about that.

Angus tries to straighten one aspect of his life out. He pays a visit to Rachel in hospital where his apologies fall on deaf ears. To make matters worse Angus accidentally causes Rachel's leg brace to slip. Security is called and Angus is frog marched out of the building.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble, Lauren Fear as Quentin fan, Paul Tassone as Eddie Bird, Bob Hughes as Roy Bird, Niki Owen as Share person # 1, Dina Gillespie as Share person # 2

Gosh

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Episode 20
Australia: Tuesday, June 12, 2001
Music by Endorphin

Angus is surprised and concerned to find that his father has begun an affair with Albee's boss. As a circuit-breaker, Albee challenges Paul to visit Rachel Fox and seduce her, in order to take the heat out of her law suit against Angus.

Angus takes up jogging and jogs around to Bernie's house to discuss the fact that he thinks Bernie should stop faffing about, and get back with Juliette. Angus is a little worried, having Juliette around the pub is sending him nuts… it's a difficult subject for Angus to broach… particularly given the fact that Juliette has already told Angus that Bernie is impotent. But that aside, Angus feels he must sort matters out… and he does… only he gets interrupted by Maya who pops out of Bernie's bedroom in a bathrobe.

Juliette, unaware of Bernie's affair with Maya, drags Bernie to birth classes where Bernie loses his temper and admits to having sex with someone else.

Albee is becoming increasingly annoyed with Quentin's online mega-status. This is not helped by Quentin's enthusiasm for Brent Duffy's looming point scoring record which threatens to overtake the entire nations' consciousness.

Guest Cast: Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Joel McIlroy as Brent Duffy, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Christian Barrett Hill as T-shirt guy, Terry Binding as Midwife

Oval

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Episode 21
Australia: Tuesday, June 19, 2001
Music by Tim Freedman's Moody Jews

Albee's obsession with oval shapes deepens to the point where she gives her obsession a name… and she starts to wonder if she is on the brink of madness.

At the height of her stress, Albee calls rugby league legend Brent Duffy a humble bumboy and a cog in the wheel of media empires and corporate sponsors, and this motivates him to defecate on the field at his moment of triumph.

Bernie, continuing his affair with Maya, reveals to her that Angus is the father of Juliette's baby. Maya threatens to exploit this for publicity purposes for the Quentin novel and Albee freaks.

Angus takes Juliette to birth classes and Paul tries to solve Angus's legal problems by having sex with Rachel Fox… and fails. Paul returns to the pub with an armload of face cream. It turns out that Rachel Fox is a pyramid seller of cosmetics.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Joel McIlroy as Brent Duffy, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Terry Bindinh as Midwife

Maze

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Episode 22
Australia: Tuesday, June 26, 2001

Paul is at Galen Apartments, attempting to return Rachel Fox's pyramid products when he makes a surprising discovery.

Eddie Bird is being dangled off the balcony of a vacant apartment—he's in serious strife! Concealing himself behind the kitchen wall, Paul witnesses Eddie being interrogated by his brother over his handling of his job as project manager of Galen. It seems Eddie has been so busy trying to impress the family with Italian appliances and track lighting that he's skimped on the big ticket items like structure and soundproofing.

As a result, he can only get fifty percent occupancy. Eddie's solution is to buy Angus's pub and build a funnel across from the apartments to the pokies, restaurants etc… controlling his clientele like rats in a maze and making a fortune off of them.

When Angus confronts Eddie, he denies it all, claiming the funnel concept was just a way of getting his family off his back. Angus is not convinced and is left feeling Eddie's uncle's legal advice is probably not to be trusted. He also decides he's going to plead not guilty in his court case against Rachel Fox which means risking going to jail.

Meanwhile Albee has taken a new approach to overcome her "oval fear"… positivity. The question is whether she'll be able to maintain this in the face of Maya's ruthless marketing of Quentin's book, and Juliette's ever-expanding tummy.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, Paul Tassone as Eddie Bird, Rod Power as Frankie Bird, Zoe Coyle as Melissa Duvet, Joel McIlroy as Brent Duffy, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble

Faff

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Episode 23
Australia: Tuesday, July 03, 2001
Written by Ellie Beaumont
Directed by Daniel Nettheim
Music by Sunk Loto

Paul is on the conveyor belt to hell… or so he thinks. After all his attempts never to complete his uni degree, a mature age student does it for him. He becomes more convinced that he has been cursed by a spell to grow up, when a lawyer comes into the pub and offers him a job. The curse is a cancer, an evil virus that is spreading to his friends.

Angus is even considering what Paul believes is the maddest decision of all: to father the baby himself. What Paul doesn't realise is that he is about to make the most grown up decision of his life—to sleep with someone he might actually be in love with. This person just happens to be his best friend's ex.

Meanwhile Albee and Quentin have plans to sabotage Maya's book launch. But things don't go altogether as planned.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, Toby Dow as Nick Santow, Ben Mendelsohn as himself, Mary Lindsay as Doctor, Garry McDonald as Tom Mattingly

Help

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Episode 24
Australia: Tuesday, July 10, 2001
Music by Christina Hughes

Albee's "Oval Yoval" fear, and the reappearance of Larissa's ghost sends her to a psychiatric consultation with Dr. Alex Conhopkins.

Albee feels she is losing her mind. She cites the fact that she had sex with Paul Bannister as a reason enough to have herself commited. Conhopkins, however is not convinced of Albee's insanity and he sends her home.

Things at home aren't much better; Paul is slinking around the pub dying of guilt, having slept with his best friend's girlfriend. The trouble for Paul is that he loves both Albee and Angus in equal parts. It's Angus's day in court and Paul is doing whatever he can tp provide moral support.

While everybody is busy at court Juliette goes into labour. Klaus is the only person around to assist in the child's delivery. So there's nobody manning the bar when Christa Hughes arrives. Not put off Christa helps herself and the punters to a bottle of vodka while she belts out "Carrot Day".

Angus loses in court and he receives a suspended sentence, thereby narrowly escaping a term in jail. But his criminal sentence will mean he will lose his pub license. A distraught Albee, albeit in the form of Larissa—attacks Rachel Fox with a pair of nail scissors. This action is enough to have Albee finally commited.

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble, Paul Tassore as Eddie Bird, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Martin Reefman as Prosecutor, David Nettheim as Judge, William Zappa as Dr. Conhopkins

Home

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Episode 25
Australia: Tuesday, July 17, 2001
Written by Shelley Birse
Directed by George Kightley
Music by Felicity Hunter

It's the morning after Angus's court case; the morning after Albee attacked the pub's chief noise complainer with a pair of scissors; the morning after her most unexpected encounter with Paul… and Albee wakes up in a psych ward with a hangover the size of Paraguay.

Paul finds the guilt of his dalliance with Albee too much to stand and comes clean to Angus. The question of his motivation is revealed to be anything but squeaky clean.

Albee is struggling to find a way through the mess that is her life when Angus's long awaited child is born… and it's enough to push her over the edge. She runs away from hospital and finds herself at the airport, tickets to Cuba in hand.

Guest Cast: John Molloy as Roy Williams, Bruce Venables as Sargeant Dibble, Joanne Priest as Rachel Fox, Warren Hussy as Travel Agent, Geoffrey Reczek as Airline desk staff, William Zappa as Dr. Conhopkins

Cuba

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Episode 26 (series finale)
Australia: Tuesday, July 24, 2001
Music by Machine Gun Fellatio

Paul arrives at the airport to discover Albee waiting for him, her bags packed. Is Paul ready to run away with her to Cuba? Paul would like nothing more than to do just that but he can see that Albee isn't in a healthy mental state. He puts the kybosh on the whole thing and suggests she go back to the hospital. Albee not impressed, runs away.

Meanwhile, back at the pub, Angus has just been served a notice of closure from the Liquor Licensing Board. The boards' representative, Mr. Hector Phillips, has informed Angus that he must cease trading forthwith.

Will the tired and emotionally-drained Angus accept the proclamation? Will the pub be finally taken over by Eddie Bird and the plans for his economic funnel? Will live music ever be heard belting out of the pub doors again, or will poker machines rule? Will Albee and Angus ever get back together? Will Paul and Angus ever be able to mend their friendship? Will Quentin shake off the cancer that is choking his youthful body. Will Machine Gun Fellatio get to play their gig? Find out in the final episode of love is…

Guest Cast: Teresa Page as Juliette Briones, Rudi Baker as Quentin Richards, Annie Davies-McCubbin as Maya Fink, John Molloy as Roy Williams, Jie Pittman as Taxi Driver, Alan Flower as Hector Phillips, Paul Tassone as Eddie Bird, Bruce Venables as Officer Dibble, Hayley McGlinchey as Garnish